Day Nine

Day Nine

I will admit to feeling  somewhat sheepish for not taking an outdoor photo today; it’s yet another pristine crisp, bright blue fall day across the front range and I soaked up my fair share of Vitamin D this morning, but today’s shot is a reflection of my day and I guess my on-going struggles.

Today I took care of a few much needed “to do’s” on my list, one of which included a phone appointment with one of my medical providers.  She and I have been juggling my medications to get the right mix so we discussed prescriptions and then went about overall assessments as to how I had been feeling lately, what I was doing, what was new in life, etc.  I told her I quit my corporate job and was branching out in other direction, and that reach into another world had led me to fear, worry and doubt.  Did I throw away my career?  Did I make a big mistake?  What the hell was I thinking?  What is my path?  Why are we here?  Is my life just about paying bills and then dying?  Left to my own devices, I could continue on ad infinitum, but I won’t.

She suggested that every morning, I write a short mantra or phrase that I would embrace throughout the day.  If I fell into fear, worry or doubt I should re-center myself by reciting my mantra.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a perfectly lovely idea and I’m sure your average individual would find one mantra or saying perfectly acceptable.   I don’t think I’m a very average individual.  I’m difficult, stubborn, obsessive and I over do everything.  One will never be enough for this gal.  Thus, today’s photo serves as the expression of my fear, worry and doubt about her suggestion…

Today’s photo was shot on my Canon 6D, EF 24-105 mm 1:4 L IS USM Lens.  I set my dial to Av, Aperture f11, ISO 160. Very minor editing, some sharpening

“Imperfection is the prerequisite for grace.  Light only gets through the cracks.” Philip Yancey

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